I Am A Rambling Whoa-man

Memories Are Now Definitions?

I recently read The Art and Magic of Tidying Up, which teaches you how to arrange your personal systems so you are always organized, without having to spend laborious amounts of time/energy to keep it up.  She advertises that every single one of her clients have never gone back.  For me, the methodologies presented in the book certainly changed the way I think and live, filling in a few understanding gaps I had in arranging my personal systems.

Great book, but this blog post is more about something she mentioned than the book itself.  

Photos, Memories, Obsession with Cohesion

She was talking about photos and how people keep boxes of them around.  She recommends you pick the ones you adore and throw the others out.  She recommends the same with gifts and mementos.  How hard is it to get rid of those notes you took in college you skim through once every five years?  Or, all the art you have… which has no real measurable rite?  Or that china your grandmother gave you… that sits in a the darkest part of your cabinets where the weevils go to die?

You want to create paths from A to B.  You want to remember the parts and steps in between.  You don’t want to forego value, life, living.  You want to create cohesion in life because this is your single story.   You only get to live once.

She talks about these things, and follows suit by mentioning something along the lines of, “Your memories are within you.  Your experiences have shaped who you are today.  That is enough. You do not need to leave a trail.”

Well of course I sit on this thought…

And The Questions Roll On By

How often do we rely on our mementos to prove the fullness of our life?  To avoid forgetting all those things we learned?  All those things we read?  All the time we spent doing something being somewhere knowing at least we’d have pictures to show off and validate our excursions.

With technology, how have our lives become less satisfying without mementos as proof and validation? How often do we rely on proof to both 1) build ourselves up and create a sense of cohesion and 2) to prove to others where we’ve been and what we’ve done is worthy of attention and recognition?

If our past in its essence is what makes us who we are, why do we spend so much time, focus and energy capturing the here and now?  How is it so easy to develop a strong attachment to symbol that represents that time/person/place and need it to validate that past or with what intensity we’ve lived our lives?

Do we need to prove our lives?  Do we need to prove our goodness, effort and worth?  Aren’t we constantly doing it… for someone?

So as Im thinking all these questions, I make these personal inquiries… 

What does it look like to let go of that association?  What does photography look like if it’s exclusively for art and enjoyment? Or, what does an online persona look like when there is little to prove on a page?  So what if people don’t know where you’ve been or come from without meeting you?  So what if you just disappear into virtual oblivion because you haven’t touched heartstrings with your efforts?

Detached Judgements

We judge how people are doing based on photos and blurbs and excerpts.  What does it look like to recognize the division between the presentation and the person you haven’t spoken with in over a decade? And begin to look at things differently.  Not happy or sad even… but then doesn’t a desire for realness come?

All the validations, proofs and judgements affect us in ways we do not yet understand.

We become so obsessed with legacy and impression we forget the real humanness in being connected to ourselves and those around us.

Rambles On The Side-burner In My Mind For Weeks

I am an introvert with strong extrovert tendencies.  I took the Meyers Briggs test multiple times and laughed at the results.  They were always different.  I was borderline so many things.  I’ve never been big on these types of test or statistics in general.

I think about my relationship with myself next to my relationship with others.  I know that if i don’t give my mind breathing room, I’m not in a good place.  But there’s a difference between being alone and being restored by that time.  I can be alone and suffocating if I don’t do things right. Which comes so easily without paying attention.

Relationships with others are a different story.  They can certainly be helped or hindered by what we do and don’t do on a regular basis.  and as a community at large, all ties to representations and legacies as a paramount part in our value system, it seems hard to bring the reminders of “deliberate living” into digestible forms.  Others recognize the concepts and can connect with the distant idea on a distant level, but often not intrinsically.

Being so attached to symbols as definitions is dangerous.  Living for others eyes is dangerous.  But then again, what could we possibly be missing?


Write your thoughts. Be kind & play nice.

Leave a reply.